Seriously, I'm going to throw myself in front of a fucking bus. How the fuck did I gain weight? I'm consuming less calories and I've been taking my dog out on long walks almost everyday, and the days that I don't, I go and run two miles around the track at the park. I'm right back where I was two weeks ago. The thing is, I feel skinnier in the waist and my jeans have been fitting better, so what the fuck happened?
Well, I did weigh myself at a different time, today. I usually weigh myself in the morning. Or maybe I actually managed to build a little muscle. I have no idea. Whatever the reason, I better lose at least a pound by next Sunday or I'm going on a Juicy Juice diet; a box of Juicy Juice for breakfast, another for lunch, and one for dinner.
Maybe it'll be easier when the weather warms up, but I would still like to get under 150 pounds, and soon.
My satirical outlook on everyday life, whether its mine or someone else's that I saw or read about. If you are a closet racist or homophobe that feigns "offense" to overcompensate a need to mask your primitive incivility, you'll likely, and hopefully, be offended by much, if not all, of the satire you'll encounter in this blog.
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